yes ... yes.. with every fiber, yes.

Tomorrow @ sundown (proper), I'm beginning a fast.

All things through Christ.

Everday I believe more

ZWent in for my interview yesterday, they liked me. I know this because they asked me to take the pre-employment drug screen. Just finished that ... no complications or issues, thank you Jesus for small and large miracles! Once the screening and background clears, I'll start work 10/4! ( I've already claimed this job as a delivery from God so I know its mine)

The Lord makes a way!

Greatful ...

I re-took the test today. Within 2 hours, they called me to come in tomorrow for an interview.

I CLAIM THIS JOB IN JESUS' HOLY NAME!

Thank you Jesus!

I've been smoking today, going back on the 24 hr trial tomorrow.

Thank you Father for strength!

JESUS IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!

Small steps

I made it ...24 hrs, no cigarette.

Thank you Jesus

When you listen...

with the intention to hear, God will talk to you and you can almost always bet - He's going to blow your mind.

Thank you Jesus for speaking to me at least thrice(always wanted a reason so use that word) today...

1 - at 0130 9*7*10 I got the crazy idea to have the faith that God would see me through 24 hours with no ciggs when I've smoked a pack a day for all of my adult life.

1a - I've been quitting every month for about two years and I never get beyond the first hour of the first day, thus -- the crazy idea

1b - its 2140 (940 pm) and I have not had a cigg all day, better still, the "cravings", since prayer this mornin, have been little more than fleeting thoughts.



2 - in May I was laid off (i know, I know awww ...)... it's not really as tragic as it seems ... yet ... any way -

2a - a buddy of mine and then another home girl both told me that the same company was/is hiring. I applied but apparently I tanked the the application process. At first I was going to give up, but I kept having this nagging feeling (I freely admit it was the Holy Spirit) that I should contact the Hr Rep and say something, try to defend myself and skill. Well, I did and she very politely told me "sorry, you'll have to wait 6 months before you can apply again." -- bummed. She did go on to tell me about a temp company they use to fill spots. I immediately contacted them and began the application process ... hey work is work ... ya know.

2b -- today, the same Hr rep called to say, there was an error in the testing and she'd Like me to re-test tomorrow.

3. Reading this book ... What every Christian ought to know... this book is excellent and I truly believe the author was given this book through divine inspiration.

Part of today's reading ... rough recitation... "happiness is a thermometer, it responds to the environment, joy is a thermostat, it controls the environment."

Amen.

...still pressing w/less effort ...

Ok, 18 hrs into the 24 hr no smoking period and I'm doing far far better than I thought I'd be. _{yay me}

This morning, I couldn't think of anything but cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette ... now it's cigarette, cigarette ... and instead of every minute, it's every hour.


Thank you Lord for your strength.

Growing ...

Blogging the Love of God to keep the cravings at bay ...

Walking with Christ is new to me and while I am loving the growth, the desire to not be so lacking is rough!. I want so desperately not to sin, but, I'm finding that its hard to keep it forefront before I sin. It's hard to keep it ... WWJD; when its been WWID my whole life. The challenge of NOT responding of my flesh ... hard to do! My programming says "you need to do a/b/c to feel better, defend/protect/help yourself" instead of "that's their problem projected on you. Yes, you are unhappy but the Lord will see you through this" ... each reaction is a choice. Here is where you are a.) secure b/c you have faith and you respond accordingly; or b.) you let the enemy continue to keep you unfaithful... he will always make it easy, he's nothing to be ... (you choose the 'impressed-esque' adverb) over, he just wants you to help him prove that those living in Adam don't really love God.

The Lord is divinely just, magnificent and wise ... we're supposed to trust Him because that's what He created you to do ...

O ... Kay ... and here's the blank stare of frustration and the aforementioned
"Roughness" ...

I know to trust God but I still, more often than not, end up letting the enemy use me IDK why...

I do know, when my faith is in Him, its easy to quell my flesh.

Faith, and its development, are all apart of the process of growth; I get it. As we get to know Him, we are more filled with Him and we change. But I feel like we also know Him by choosing Him. Choosing Him, shows faith, trust, and worship of Christ. This pleases the Father. We all know, when Dad is happy life is good!

Seeing and getting to know God through Christ is a blessing! When I get to experience God first hand, and there is no room for doubt about where the help came from, its a blessing that is wholly undeserved but a pull to faith.

I'm beginning to understand that it all boils down to obedience. When you listen to God, He's able to hear you.

... I press ...

I want a cigarette.

It seems that my mind wants my body to smoke a cigarette with a desperation I haven't had since I started 16 yrs ago.



Cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette.



Thank You Jesus for filling me with the strength to think and not act!

Amen.

Faith

Today, September 7, 2010, I will not smoke a cigarette

Faith grows in steps.

Thank You Jesus. Amen.